Cassey Ho Reveals Struggling with Uncertainty Toward Marriage and Motherhood

The fitness guru opened up Monday to her followers in a candid Instagram post.

Blogilates' Cassey Ho has a reputation for her heart-to-heart with her massive fan base. From bravely discussing her body image battles to expressing her other self-doubts, the Instagram star frequently gives followers glimpses into various personal experiences. Most recently, she shed light on her apprehensions about specific aspects of her future. In an Instagram video shared on Monday, Ho and her husband, Sam Livits, are seen basking in the picturesque beauty of their honeymoon in Bora Bora, three years after their wedding. The idyllic clip shows the duo celebrating with a toast and plunging into the transparent blue waters. But beneath this blissful footage, Ho uses the caption as a platform to voice her anxieties about marriage and motherhood, and admits how "frightened" she felt about revealing these feelings to her followers. "Honeymoons are perceived as the dawn of a couple's new life chapter. And I must confess, I'm fearful," Ho started. "On our very first date during college, @samlivits said, 'I'd make a great dad.' ? At that time, sandwiched between midterms and research papers, I was hardly ready for such discussions. Plus, I had only recently received my mom's 'approval' to start dating!"

In the early stages of her relationship with Livits, Ho expressed that she wasn't quite prepared for marriage when the topic was broached. However, Livits' proposal after a nine-year courtship initiated an unexpected layer of affection within their relationship. Now, three years into wedded bliss, Ho is confronting the unavoidable question posed by Sam 13 years ago in college. After tying the knot, Livits started to inquire about starting a family, but Ho felt hesitant due to her career aspirations. She confessed that opening up about this topic was quite challenging, acknowledging that it might not resonate with many women who innately desire motherhood. Ho clarified that her lack of inherent longing for motherhood didn't stem from any dislike for children or aversion towards becoming a mother. Instead, she found herself questioning the absence of this 'natural call' to parenthood that many women seem to naturally possess. She wondered why she didn't have the same instinctive yearning.

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Expressing her thoughts candidly, Cassey Ho revealed her unsureness about the path towards matrimony and parenthood. She stated, "I've always been led by my heart and it has always guided me in the right direction. However, in this case, it has remained silent so far, and I fear missing out on such an important life experience due to this."

While sharing these deeply personal feelings, Ho anticipated that her post might not resonate with many women and was prepared for a potential backlash. However, she was pleasantly surprised by the response. In an interview with Shape, she said, "Many women confessed to feeling the same way, which was unexpected. I had no clue that others too felt this 'absence of attraction' towards motherhood. I always considered myself as an outlier because all the women in my life had the desire for children since their early years. Unlike them, I have always prioritized academics and my career, which can perhaps be attributed to my upbringing."

Ho encourages those grappling with the idea of having children to engage in conversations with a variety of women and learn from their diverse experiences and perspectives, both as mothers and non-mothers. "Currently, I don't feel well-informed enough to make a decision and am still seeking greater confidence in my choice," she added.

Following the responses she received, Ho expressed her gratitude through several Instagram stories. "I didn't realize there were so many women who shared the same feelings. I thought I was different... Your understanding and support on this topic make me feel less isolated," she shared.

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