Gabrielle Union On the Raw Truths of Her Surrogacy Journey

The actress and husband Dwyane Wade welcomed daughter Kaavia James, via surrogate, in November 2018.

Renowned actress Gabrielle Union's journey to motherhood, through surrogacy, was an emotionally charged and challenging process. In her latest book, You Got Anything Stronger?, she reveals intimate details of her struggle with infertility, as featured in a recent excerpt published by Time. It was her husband, Dwyane Wade, who helped her reconsider surrogacy after initially resisting the idea, going against her doctor's advice. After being misdiagnosed for years, Union was finally diagnosed with adenomyosis, a condition that affects the lining of the uterus.

Following several miscarriages and unsuccessful rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF), Union was advised by her physician that surrogacy would be her best chance at having a healthy baby. Adenomyosis is a condition where endometrial tissue grows into the uterine wall, causing it to thicken and impairing conception and gestation. Despite this, Union longed to experience pregnancy firsthand.

The actress revealed her desire to see her own body alter and adapt to accommodate the life growing within her. She yearned for the public acknowledgement and societal acceptance that comes with being visibly pregnant. Union also touched upon the emotional impact of her husband fathering a child with another woman just a year before their wedding in 2014, which left her feeling devastated.

In spite of these setbacks, Union remained determined to carry a child and explored various alternatives post her marriage. At one point, she contemplated using Lupron, a drug commonly prescribed for conditions such as endometriosis and uterine fibroids. However, the medication brought its share of risks. The odds of carrying a full-term baby were still low at 30%, even with Lupron, and it could induce early menopause and severe bone fragility.

Wade, on seeing his wife's struggles, expressed his concerns about her risking her own health and wellbeing for motherhood. He reassured her that while they both yearned for a baby, her life was equally important to him. Wade's supportive words eventually helped Union to accept surrogacy as a viable option.

Union and Wade decided to opt for surrogacy with a woman named Natalie, but Union continually grappled with feelings of insufficiency throughout this journey, as well as the sorrow of her previous miscarriages. It was her past experiences with pregnancy loss that made sharing the news difficult. "At the five-month mark in July - a milestone we had never reached before - Dwyane was confident enough to share our joy with friends," she stated. "After my initial miscarriage, I never disclosed our expectancy. Even this seemed perilous. I announced it to my friends and immediately regretted, wondering what I had just done." Their daughter, Kaavia James, was born prematurely in November 2018 due to an emergency C-section because the umbilical cord was wrapped around her ankle. Union humorously suggested that it must have been Kaavia's doing as she was ready to be born. Union confessed about her continual struggle with self-doubt questioning whether their bond would have been stronger if she had carried her. "I will always be curious if Kaavia would love me more had I carried her. Would we have been closer? I will never experience what it feels like to carry this little rockstar inside me," she wrote. "The saying goes that having a child is equivalent to having your heart outside your body, and that's all I know. Although we met as strangers, with my voice and heartbeat alien to her, there remains a lingering pain within my fears that I am not, and never will be, adequate." However, she affirms that every mother, regardless of how they came into motherhood, is beyond adequate. “To fully narrate our collective story, I must acknowledge the truths I live with,” she reflected. “And I’ve realized that honesty and love can coexist.”

There are no comments yet!

© 2023 All rights reserved.
View Sitemap